


What Goes Unsaid

by cains-mane (dustyjournal), kams_log



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BDSM, Bottom Castiel, Bottom Sam, Dom Cain, Dom/sub, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Past Violence, Post-Season/Series 10 AU, Smut, Sub Dean, Tis but a scratch really, Top Castiel, Top Sam, Well Only One Limb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 19:22:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4847321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustyjournal/pseuds/cains-mane, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kams_log/pseuds/kams_log
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam always thought Dean and Cas were pining for each other. It was obvious, and no matter how Sam felt, he was happy as long as they were happy. Or at least, he was, until he found out Dean and Cain were actually together all along. Now, all that's left is to confront his own feelings, and hope he doesn't get it wrong in the process. Throw in Rowena with the Mark of Cain, an oblivious Crowley, and some very awkward conversations with Cain to make this situation even more complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sam was getting tired of this. Too tired. How long had he spent researching the Mark? How long had he poured over old texts, an entire year of sleepless nights trying to save his brother?

Things were different now, obviously. Dean was free of the Mark, but now Rowena had it, and she was out doing who knew what to innocent people. It was only a matter of time before something even worse happened.

It was nice having Charlie there, however. She wasn’t exactly cheery, but her presence was lifting as they continued to dig through the old texts.

They’d started with the bunker, of course. But Sam already knew there wasn’t enough research from the Men of Letters days. They’d never had to deal with the Mark of Cain. They never had to deal with curses from the dawn of creation. This kind of situation had to be researched in new areas, libraries that nobody had even heard of before. With Charlie’s underground knowledge and Cas’s flight, they had all the books they needed in the Lebanon Public Library.

The only person they were missing was Dean.

Sam thumbed through an old book on Eden and stared blankly at the text in front of him. He didn’t get Dean lately. It had started several months back, even from the time Dean got the Mark of Cain in the first place. He’d always assumed Dean’s change of character and personality was simply because of the Mark’s influence. But once the Mark was gone, things got better… but not exactly back to normal.

Dean still disappeared for hours at a time. He still seemed hell bent on getting his own ‘private time,’ going under the pretense of finding his own sources for a hunt rather than helping with their usual research.

It probably had something to do with Dean’s new ‘source.’ Cain.

It was bad enough that Dean lied about killing the demon. But after Cain showed up at the last minute, saving Charlie from the Stynes, Dean had to explain _something_. In the end, Dean had managed to avoid explaining anything further than, ‘he got away but he’s sane.’ Charlie was the one who had to fill in the details of how Cain killed the grunts chasing her, securing her escape to a new safe house.

“Half his arm’s gone though,” Charlie had explained around a mouthful of chips, safely back at the bunker. “The part that used to have the Mark, or something.”

Sam still had yet to really see Cain since the incident. There wasn’t a lot of time to, especially with Rowena out there and the Mark still in play.

But Dean wasn’t even there helping them with the research. Instead, he was out ‘finding stuff’ on his own. Probably with Cain, Sam guessed.

He frowned as he turned a few pages, scouring the lines for anything that could even remotely relate to the Mark and it’s influence. Cas was supposed to be on his way back with more books and intel. Sam looked forward to when he returned. The tell-tale beat of his wings, the small, hopeful smile he would give them before dropping off the next round of materials.

“Have you found anything?” He’d ask, voice rumbling with the check in.

Sam truly didn’t understand why Dean wasn’t here with them. He knew Dean and Cas had a profound bond, as Cas called it. He knew how they looked at each other, understood each other. Didn’t Dean want to be with Cas? Didn’t they like each other?

Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair, gaining the attention of the red head across from him.

“Got something on your mind Sam?” Charlie asked, closing her book and opening up a new one.

Sam shook his head and frowned. “Dean’s with Cain.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow. “Uh, yeah. Generally he is.” She kicked his foot with her own when he didn’t look up. “So? What’s the big deal?”

“I don’t know,” Sam grumbled. “I just… You’d think he’d prefer being here.”

“Why?” Charlie flipped through her pages idly, raising an eyebrow curiously. “He likes Cain. It’s not surprising he’d want to be with him instead of us.”

Sam shook his head and closed his book, leveling his gaze to meet Charlie’s. “Yeah, that’s fine. I’m glad Dean’s friends with a demon from the dawn of creation. I’m just saying, you’d think he’s in love with the guy or something.”

Charlie’s eyebrows rose to her hairline, something Sam had never thought possible before. A slow grin spread across her face, splitting into an amused expression that Sam couldn’t understand.

“Sam… you do realize they’re _together_ , right? They have been? For a while now?”

Sam stared at her. “What are you talking about? Dean doesn’t like Cain. Not like _that._ ”

“They go away together. All the time.”

“Researching!”

Charlie laughed outright, eyes gleaming with unshed tears of amusement. “Sam… have you ever known your brother to research for _two days straight_ with another man, _alone_?”

When Sam didn’t react further than a blank stare, she stopped laughing and raised her eyebrows once more. “Wait, did you think he liked someone else?”

Sam sputtered, and she beamed again. “You thought he liked _Cas_ , didn’t you!”

“But they spend so much time together!” Sam exclaimed. “The eye contact, their conversations. You’re telling me there’s nothing there? Charlie, they’ve been having eye sex for years. You’re telling me there’s nothing there at all?”

Charlie shrugged and nodded. “Yeah. Pretty much.”

Sam stared at her as Charlie returned to her studies, not even glancing up at him when he fell back against his chair.

“But… you have to admit that _Cas_ likes Dean, right?”

He wasn’t expecting the harsh kick against his knee that followed.

“Shi-- _Charlie_?!” Sam grunted. He swung up his leg over his knee, hands working against the bruised flesh in hopes of lessening the pain. He looked up in time to see Charlie’s sharp gaze focused on his.

“Sam, you cannot possibly be this blind. Have you even seen the way Cas looks at _you_? You’re thinking of the wrong Winchester here.”

She was grinning. Why the hell was she grinning so much? This was serious. Sam’s jaw tightened and he shook his head fiercely.

“Cas does _not_ like me,” he hissed, keeping his voice low so no one would overhear. “If he did, I would have noticed by now.”

“Not unless you like him too,” she winked. Sam’s face flushed scarlet as she leaned back and returned to her book. “Don’t they say love is blind? Come on Sam. You know that.”

Sam blinked at her for several long moments, digesting what she said.

He barely noticed a flap of wings behind him before a hand descended on his shoulder, causing him to jump in surprise.

“Sam?” Cas’s bright blue gaze was concerned, brow furrowed as he examined Sam carefully. “Are you alright?”

Sam could only stare. _Was it true?_ Could Cas actually like _him_ , not Dean? It didn’t make sense, and Sam’s head was short circuiting. He needed air.

“I… I need to go for a drive. Take a break, or… something.”

“Would you like me to join you?” Cas asked, starting to follow as Sam stood.

“No,” Sam said hurriedly, raising his hand. He tried not to notice the way Cas’s expression fell slightly, the corners of his lips turning down unpleasantly. Sam desperately wanted to turn it around, let Cas come with him.

God knew he did like Cas. Maybe more. But it was too soon, and he’d just spent the past several years thinking his brother and his best friend were in love. He needed a minute. Or several.

He just needed to wrap his head around this.

“I’ll be back in a little while. I’ll call you if anything happens.”

“Stay safe, Sam,” Cas said seriously, eyes intent.

Sam offered a small smile of reassurance before grabbing his coat and keys.

He needed to talk to Dean.

\--          

The bunker was extremely secure. Nothing and no one could get in without Dean Winchester’s approval.

So if he was strapped face down to his bed, blindfolded with his hands tied behind his back, it was completely intentional.

The complete darkness was thrilling. It expanded his thoughts and sensations exponentially in a way nothing else could. His naked body felt every breeze and his ears picked up on the slightest of noises. It also helped that, since he had a partner so focused on figuring out exactly how Dean ticked, he never really knew what to expect next. For some reason, however, Cain had been pacing around the room for the last few minutes. It wasn’t unlike his lover to admire or criticise his work, but this was taking unnaturally long.

“Daddy?” Dean asked, “Where did you go?”

He was only met with a deep chuckle.

The true response came with the sharp crack of a whip connecting with the back of his right thigh. He whined loudly from the stinging that spread up his cheek, but he made sure not to squirm. Cain hated when he squirmed.

_Crack, crack, crack_. Each snap of the leather sent more intense waves of pleasure through Dean’s body, completely taking over any true feelings of pain. With Cain, pain and pleasure were the same thing.

Dean groaned when Cain climbed on the bed and began massaging the raw skin where the whip had made contact. It was the perfect combination of burn and comfort and Dean couldn’t help but move into the touch. Cain curled his fingers so his fingernails left white marks along the already red skin, causing precome to leak from Dean’s rock hard cock and pool on the sheets.

“Hold yourself open, boy.”

Dean was grateful Cain only used this type of growl when they were in bed, because if he were able to produce it when Dean was standing he would surely fall to his knees.  Maneuvering his hands in the bonds, Dean was able to hold his asscheeks open just enough for Cain to intrude. He felt the familiar rub of Cain’s beard and instantly felt relaxed. The burn often lasted for days; glorious days where every step made tingles travel up his spine and around his dick.

What made today especially intense was the lingering beard burn from only a few days ago. Dean tried not to think about it too much, but he and Cain were definitely making up for lost time. Sex isn’t really on the table when your boyfriend goes off his rocker and tries to kill you and your entire bloodline.  

It still stung, even now. Having to keep their relationship a secret, then thinking he was going to kill the one man who understood him completely, only to take Cain’s arm in a desperate attempt to save both of their lives...but Cain was here. And he was whole where it mattered.

If anything, Cain was beginning to show gratitude in the bedroom. Sure, Dean liked simply following orders to please his master, but there was more praise, even gentler care afterwards, now. So, in Dean’s mind, life was as close to perfect as he could hope it to be.

Every slight movement of Cain’s tongue made Dean grit his teeth harder. The old man took no mercy in anything he did, so even though he was only using his tongue, the scratch of his beard, the force with which he was opening Dean up, and the fingers that found Dean’s nipple and were pinching _hard_ left Dean forgetting to breathe.  

Cain pulled away, making Dean whine in protest. “Stay still, boy. Don’t you _dare_ let go. I’m not done with you.”

“Yes, daddy. I promise.” But Dean wasn’t sure he could keep that promise. His hands were beginning to sweat and he was getting lost in the ecstasy. Cain returned full force, licking and nipping and biting and Dean’s eyes began to roll back as he tried to subtly grind into the covers.

Dean didn’t even notice when Cain brought his hand away from Dean’s abused nipple, but he definitely noticed when Cain sucked on two fingers and pushed them into Dean full force. Cain found Dean’s prostate on that first try and Dean couldn’t help it: his right hand slipped the tiniest bit and his cheek returned to its natural place.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it,” Dean panted. He thought Cain may forgive him because it was just one side, the tiniest mistake, but Cain pulled away completely, leaving Dean even more needy than before.

“You disobeyed my orders, boy. What should I do with you?” Cain mused. The old demon was pacing the room so slowly, so carefully that Dean thought maybe Cain really didn’t know how to punish him.

“May I speak, daddy?” Dean asked, making sure to sound as small and vulnerable as possible.

“You may.”

“You could use that thing we found a couple days ago at the store?”

“Hmm.” Cain stopped pacing. “I think I just might. Good boy.”

Dean stayed still but hummed contently. Praise really was his favorite thing right behind actually getting fucked. Oh, and calling Cain _daddy._

The clatter of a drawer and a package opening had Dean’s ears perking up. Of course, he still couldn’t see because of the blindfold, but he could picture the black and blue straps that would soon surround his dick and pull his balls away from him in the most perfect way. Not that he would give away any excitement toward this new toy. It was supposed to be a punishment after all.

“On your side,” Cain growled. Dean quickly flipped to face the side of the bed Cain was standing at. He wanted so badly to see his master’s cock bulge through the suit he was still wearing. Instead, he felt the bed sag where Cain knelt on it, and then there was the feeling of cool fabric against his needy dick and Dean shuddered deep in his chest. You couldn’t call it attention, per se, because Cain only touched Dean as much as was necessary to bind him, but Dean relished in every minute touch.

Suddenly, Cain’s teeth were grazing his thigh, evidently holding a strap in place of Cain’s missing hand. Dean whimpered pathetically at the tickle of Cain’s beard and the thought of how downright dirty this looked. It almost took away from the now uncomfortable constraint around his junk.

“Such a good boy,” Cain cooed, “so why must you misbehave? I hate to punish you, I really do. But unfortunately, you mustn’t come tonight.”

“If that’s what it takes for you to forgive me, sir, then I will take my punishment.” Once, when Dean had been extra good during a punishment, Cain let him orgasm anyway. He hoped this was one of those nights.

“Good. Turn back onto your hands and knees now. And hold yourself open until I say you can let go.”

Dean obliged hastily. His cock and balls were beyond uncomfortable now, but he deserved this.

A couple new sounds caught Dean’s attention wholeheartedly: the distinct clink of a belt buckle and the rumpling sound of dress pants hitting the floor. He breathed a sigh of relief; Cain was finally, _finally_ taking his suit off. Dean guessed their matching suits were settled together now, and that made a small, secret smile cross his face.

Cain’s tongue was back in him before he could take another breath. Cain worked with nothing but rough efficiency, quickly switching to a slicked up finger. A moment later he added one more, those fingers moving dangerously slow over Dean’s prostate. Then those fingers were pumping and stretching so fast and rough inside him that Dean thought his balls were going to explode.

“Please, daddy, _please_. I need it. I need you,” Dean whined.

Cain didn’t pull away right then. He took a few agonizing moments to just massage Dean’s prostate, effectively shutting Dean right the hell up. It left Dean in a haze almost to the point where he let go of his cheeks, but he wanted to be so good for Cain so he dug his nails in and held on tight.

“You’re being a very good boy, Dean. I think I may give you what you want. But ask nicely just one more time. For me.”

Dean swallowed hard, feeling Cain line up and _damn, he’s going in almost dry_. “Daddy, I need you now. I need your cock filling me up so deep and I need to show you how good I can be. Let me make you happy. Let me…”

But Dean was cut off by Cain’s dick finally fulfilling Dean’s pleadings. Cain had done such a good job opening Dean up that it didn’t burn nearly as much as Dean thought it would; he could just focus on the perfect stretch and the feeling of wholeness that surged through him. Cain let out a low growl as he pulled out to the tip before ramming into Dean with full force. Dean’s cock tried to twitch, tried to leak, tried to do _something_ , but there was only the harrowing stretch from the straps.

Cain seemed to be enjoying himself much more than Dean. The demon was rocking hard and deliberately into Dean with a rhythm that made the bed rock. Fortunately Dean had pulled the bed away from the wall, so he didn’t have to worry about any suspicious marks or noises. The only noises were the measured creaks of the bed, Cain’s gravelly panting, and Dean’s small whines.

If Dean could have mustered proper words at the moment, he probably would have said _this is amazing_ , or _thank you_ , or maybe even a small _I love you_ , but it was all too much to handle. He was right on the edge, right there with Cain, and he would continue to be there forever if he had to.

Cain’s fingers grazed through Dean’s hair before finding purchase in the slightly longer strands near his forehead. Cain yanked Dean’s head back and Dean whined from intensity overload.

Suddenly, the constraints around his junk came undone. Cain must have still had enough demon power to mojo it off. Dean didn’t want to say it out loud, but Cain was definitely going to let him come and that made him grind back onto Cain’s dick so hard that he saw stars.

He was so caught up in it all, he didn’t hear the footsteps just outside his door.

Dean’s breathing was laboured as he waited for Cain’s command. Cain was currently in the middle of spilling inside Dean, and he often took this chance to let Dean come. Dean waited patiently, head still held in the air by a good chunk of hair, letting Cain rock into him slower and slower.

“D-”

“ _Dean??_ ” came a scream from behind them. Dean didn’t have to take off the blindfold to know who just caught them and was now apparently sprinting to the farthest end of the bunker.

“ShitshitshitshitSHIT!” Dean whispered as Cain pulled out slowly.

“Calm down, Dean. Sam was going to find out some way or another.”

“Yeah, but not like _this_!”

Dean tried to scramble for a pair of sweatpants as Cain took off the blindfold, but his hands were still bound behind him. Cain grabbed Dean by the cuffs and spun him around. Dean made a look of protest, but Cain’s intense stare shut him down immediately.

“Dean, you must let me clean you up. Facing your brother in five minutes clean is better than in one minute still dirty.”

“How about I don’t face him at all?” Dean scoffed.

But Cain wasn’t having that. His voice on edge, Cain answered, “You will face Sam and tell him exactly what has been going on here. You do not have to go into detail, but he must understand. He’s your brother, Dean.”

“Alright, alright. You’re right as usual.”

“Yes I am,” Cain replied proudly, “Now wait here while I grab you an ice pack. You’re going to need it.”

\--

A few minutes later, Dean was stumbling into Sam’s room, holding an ice pack to his nether regions. This had to be the worst case of blue balls in history.

Sam had his back to Dean, trying to look busy rummaging in a drawer that only had a handful of items in it. Before Dean could say a word, Sam held up a hand.

“Choose your words very carefully. I’m on the brink of throwing up and you’d be in charge of cleaning it up.”

“I’m sorry, Sam.”

“Dean, not enough ‘sorrys’ will remove the sight of Cain’s bare back or your…”Sam seemed at a loss for words.

“Yeah, yeah, I get that. So let’s forget about it, okay?” Dean tried for laughter, but he could only huff a bit of air out of his lungs.

Sam turned ever so slightly, giving Dean a chastising look Dean rarely ever saw. It was mixed with something more than anger, frustration, or nausea--it was hurt.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you? Sam, how could you--how could anyone understand? Cain’s a demon and I couldn’t think of any way to explain it to you. I figured you’d kinda, you know, figure it out for yourself.”

“Actually, no, I didn’t. Charlie had to tell me.”

Dean laughed, feeling a rush of pride for the woman. “Leave it to Charlie to be the observant one.”

“Yeah, well, she didn’t have to _observe_ what I--”

“I thought we said we would drop it! How did you not hear us in there anyway?” Dean yelled a little too loudly.

Sam did something Dean wasn’t expecting: he blushed and turned away.

“Yeah. Sorry. My mind was somewhere else. I was actually coming to talk to you about something. Yeah, about you and Cain, but also about...about Cas.”

“Cas? What about Cas? Is he alright?” Dean moved closer to Sam, but his soreness stopped him short.

“Oh yeah, he’s fine!” Sam squeaked. “I wanted to warn you to break your news to Cas delicately. Cause he.. cares for you, and stuff…”

Dean raised an eyebrow, confusion filling him. “He what?”

“He cares about you Dean!” Sam snapped, as if it were obvious. “I’m just saying that what you do matters to him.”

“Why the hell should dating Cain be any issue with Cas?” Dean asked, shifting on his feet to alleviate the pressure on his groin. “I mean, other than the whole demon part? It’s not like I wasn’t one, either.”

Sam gave him a dry, withering look. “Honestly Dean, why do you think it would matter?”

Dean’s eyes widened, understanding beginning to dawn. With it, he felt a bubble of laughter build in his chest the longer he stared at Sam’s face. “Wait, do you think Cas _likes_ me or something? Like, _like_ me?”

Sam looked incredulous. He outstretched his hands and waved them around, as if it would somehow express his point. “Yes!” He exclaimed. “Let’s be honest Dean, he’s been in love with you since day one! Do you really think he’d stick so close to us if he wasn’t here explicitly for you?”

Dean wasn’t able to stop the laugh this time. It did nothing to make Sam feel better, clearly.

“Sam, look, Cas isn’t in love with me. Trust me here.”

“On what?” Sam snapped. “You’re involved with Cain. How would you know? You’re not even looking!”

“I don’t have to,” Dean rolled his eyes. “Cas and I have something different, sure. But trust me, there ain’t anything romantic about it. We had our chances for sure, but nothing came out of it and neither of us tried. We don’t like each other. At least not like _that_.”

Sam’s shoulders stiffened, his jaw working like he was trying to hold back from saying something.

Dean sighed and pressed his palms into the ice pack, holding back a groan from the soreness. “Look Sam, I know who Cas likes. I do, and it’s not me. You gotta’ trust me on this one.”

Sam looked tired. He heaved a sigh and ran a hand over his face. Whatever was going through his head, it had to be important. But Sam said nothing about it. Instead, his next words caught Dean by surprise. Again.

“So tell me more about you and Cain. When did this, uh, whole thing start?”

Dean felt a blush rise to his cheeks. “Pretty much the first day Cain and I met. The mark--it does something to you that I can’t explain. But Cain understood. He _still_ understands, Sam. Seeing him was calming; I would help him with his bees, we would tell stories --happy stories-- about him and me when we were kids, and it would take my mind off the constant aggravation on my arm. Any time I would feel like I was on the ledge, he’d _be there_ , Sam, and I don’t know when it changed to something...something more, but it did. And I’m glad it did. We’re helping each other through these after-effects and I’m happy now, Sam. I’m sorry if that makes you angry, or uncomfortable, or whatever, but I’m happy.”

Dean was out of breath. Even he was surprised by how truthful he was with his brother.

Sam took a moment, now fully facing his brother. “So, that time in the barn...shit, Dean. That must have been terrible for you.”

Sam’s words felt like a punch to the gut. He didn’t expect Sam to start with that, but as long as he was being truthful…

“Heh. Yeah. Cain was completely off his rocker. It’s like I was nothing at all to him. I didn’t know what to do. Good thing cutting off his arm worked, hey?”

“Yeah, good thing.”

The impending awkward silence was interrupted by a small knock on the door.

“Come in,” Dean and Sam spoke unanimously.

Dark hair and blue eyes peered around the door. Cas seemed to survey the room cautiously before stepping in.

“We seem to have found Rowena’s most recent location. Crowley is on his way,” Cas said.

“Awesome. Thanks, Cas,” Dean replied.

“My pleasure, Dean. Also, what do you mean by me not ‘liking’ you? I like you very much. Sam, you as well. I am even beginning to appreciate the demon Cain.”

Sam coughed uncomfortably, but Dean couldn’t stop the smile crossing his face. “Oh, don’t worry about that, Cas. See you in a few.”

Cas seemed to accept that at face value and left the room briskly.

When Dean turned back to face Sam, his little brother’s eyes were wide.

“Dean! Does that mean Cas heard everything we said?”

“Nah, I’m sure we’re fine. Relax, bro.”

A shit-eating grin was plastered to Dean’s face as he made his way to the library.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam used to think that Dean and Castiel had a thing, but after finding his brother and the first Knight of Hell in a compromising position... he knows better now. But, with that and the recent knowledge that Castiel is actually in love with Sam, not his brother, Sam ponders his own feelings for the angel... but he may have to face them sooner than he expects.

Castiel’s ears were ringing.

He had been ready to deliver the news he and Charlie had discovered, the possible location for Rowena, but he’d faltered when he heard voices on the other side of Sam’s door. He could sense the presence of Cain in the bunker, and the scent of cleaning products filled the air. It didn’t take much to guess what had been happening just down the halls, but the sound of Dean and Sam’s emotionally charged voices didn’t put Castiel at ease.

Something must have happened. Maybe Sam had just found out Dean and the demon’s relationship. It seemed even more obvious by the tone of Sam’s voice, the accusations he was throwing at his elder brother.

But it was what Sam was saying that made Castiel pause before knocking on the door.

 _“Sam, look, Cas isn’t in love with me. Trust me here.”_ Dean sounded frustrated. Castiel could detect the stress in his voice, the strain that increased and decreased over the syllables.

Sam grumbled something back in return, then Dean sighed.

_“Look Sam, I know who Cas likes. I do, and it’s not me. You gotta’ trust me on this one.”_

Castiel lowered his hand from the door. He knew Sam and Dean had changed subjects, now moving on to Dean and Cain’s relationship. But Castiel wasn’t listening.

His thoughts were preoccupied on Dean’s statement. _“I know who Cas likes. It’s not me.”_

Dean would never betray his trust like that, Castiel knew. But the insinuation was clear. He’d told Sam, in more or less words, that Castiel did have affection for someone. Just not Dean; not in that way.

But now how long would it be before Sam realized the truth? How long did Castiel have before Sam knew?

He swallowed his trepidation and knocked on the door, soon entering to deliver the news. As he walked away, the smell of cleaner now drifting through the halls and the brothers’ hushed voices echoing behind him, Castiel tried not to think about his now impending time limit.

It was only matter of time before Sam realized. Castiel tried not to think about what that might mean.

\--

When Castiel stepped into the library, Charlie quickly brought her attention away from her book and regarded the angel. She looked a little uneasy, which was understandable considering Cain was scouring a world map on the table adjacent her. Castiel was comfortable with the demon, but he understood why some would be weary. It amused him that Crowley was one of those who seemed to shut down around the old demon.

“Everything cool over there?” Charlie asked.

“Yes. Sam and Dean are on their way out.”

Charlie’s curt nod and returned attention to her book communicated that Castiel’s poker face was effective.

“Well, I’ll get started on dinner,” Cain grumbled as he finished an Enochian scribble on the corner of the map, “Castiel, will you give me a hand?”

Charlie let out a small noise that sounded like laughter, but she seemed to remember herself and fell silent.

Castiel agreed and trailed the demon to the kitchen. He needed something to do to keep his mind off Sam, and surely the younger Winchester would avoid Cain at all costs.

“What are you going to make?”

“Lasagna. It’s a type of spaghetti,” Cain clarified when Castiel turned his head. “Could you make a salad or two while I begin browning the beef?”

“Of course.”

Making the salads was simple yet pleasant, and soon Castiel was layering a pan with long, floppy noodles. It was quite enjoyable, really, and the smell of the meat made him almost wish he was human again.

A knock on the bunker door signaled Crowley’s arrival. Castiel could hear the grumble of Sam’s greeting as he let the demon in. He took a moment to laugh-- Crowley was all but powerless ever since Rowena hexed him a few weeks ago, so the demon was forced to drive everywhere. It also meant they only had one real threat to focus on and one more person on their side, but that didn’t mean that Castiel wasn’t annoyed by Crowley’s presence. Yet another reason making dinner was the favourable option.

The next little while passed peacefully. Neither of them spoke except to clarify instructions, but Cas did not feel awkward. He realized how much he enjoyed putting the meal together, and when he put the dish in the oven the two shared a proud smile.

Cain turned a small timer to 45 minutes and placed it on the counter. “Thank you for your help, Castiel.”

“My pleasure. Anything else to be done?”

“No. Dean can set the table.”

“Alright. I will go make sure Crowley isn’t causing much trouble--”

“Castiel, wait.”

Cas felt the first hint of unease since entering the kitchen, but Cain didn’t look menacing in any way. He just looked...concerned.

“Something seems... _off_ with you.”

“Well, I’ve been told I’m an _off_ person,” Cas attempted.

“No, something else. My relationship with Dean is no worry to you, is it? I know he is very close to you, and I also understand my history. I want to assure you that I am stable -both physically and emotionally- and I have Dean’s best interests in mind.”

“Of course, Cain. I do appreciate you telling me this, though. I may still not be great with relating to people but I do feel as though I can trust you.”

“Thank you. So what is bothering you?” Cain asked and leaned against the counter, patiently waiting for the truth. Castiel understood that this is not a topic he could avoid. Cain just _knows_.

“It’s...complicated.”

“Castiel, I’m not asking you to tell me the particulars. But something is bothering you and we need everyone focused to tackle the task at hand.” Cain said firmly, seeming on edge, but then he took a slow breath and continued calmly. “Just take it one word at a time, and maybe I can help.”

“Oh, well I um...” Castiel cleared his throat, took a breath, and tried again, “I’m having trouble sorting out certain emotions. With people.”

“Sam.”

“Wh-what? No-”

The cock of Cain’s eyebrow silenced Castiel immediately. Of course Cain knew. Charlie knew, Dean knew, of course Cain would know. Maybe Cas wasn’t as good of an actor as he thought.

“More than anything, I don’t want to make the situation uncomfortable. Especially when we have a mission to complete.” Castiel spoke evenly, trying to stay calm. Was he really confronting thoughts that had only swam around in his brain for so long, and only making them real here and now? With the help of Cain?  

“Castiel, the best thing I can tell you is that Rowena is very powerful and we don’t know who may or may not survive this. You will regret not at least talking things out with Sam. There may be a time when it is too late. I have a feeling it will be a pleasant conversation.”

With a small smile and a pat on the back, Cain made his way into the library.

\--

Dinner was far from research and comparing notes. The food was excellent; Castiel wasted no time in reminding everyone who commented that it was _Cain’s_ doing, not his own. But he did smile, partially, whenever Sam raised his eyebrows and grinned around every bite.

However, most of the dinner’s purpose was to discuss their plans for Rowena and how they were going to stop her next time. Even that was difficult to focus on with Dean and Cain’s antics, now all the more visible since everyone--mostly Sam--was officially brought into the loop.

At one point, the rolls finished late, so Dean and Cain went to the kitchen together. Everyone heard the smack of a towel and the yelp that followed. Dean’s beat red face told the entire story as Cain poorly hid a smirk of his own.

“So,” Crowley commented as they sat, sipping his wine nonchalantly. “I take it your sexual ventures have been bountiful.”

Dean immediately flushed scarlet. Sam coughed beside Cas, and a sudden tension fell across the table.

“ _Shut up--_ ” Dean started to snarl, but Cain fixed a glare on the entirely weakened demon and interrupted.

“Our relationship is none of your concern,” he snapped, immediately making Crowley’s shoulders stiffen. “Any comments from you are entirely inappropriate and will not be tolerated.”

Crowley frowned deeply, eyes squinting as he took another drink. “Well, don’t get your knickers in a twist,” he grumbled. “Next you’ll be telling me the moose and feathers over there are cloud hopping.”

Castiel instantly froze, feeling Sam’s posture snap to attention beside him. He didn’t have to look directly to know Dean’s eyes had widened in alarm, knowing Cas’s secret. But he could feel Charlie’s confused stare, combined with Cain’s building tension.

Charlie snorted, breaking the sudden silence across the table.

“Um.... so, weren’t we going to compare notes or something?” She asked, clearly trying to change the subject.

Castiel was a moment away from praying her thanks, when Sam broke any chance of relief.

“Where the hell did that come from?” He asked, glaring daggers at the lesser demon. “If you’re not going to be helpful, shut up. Or better, _leave_.”

Crowley raised an eyebrow but didn’t speak. His silence spoke volumes regardless.

_Why so sensitive all of a sudden?_

Cas was compelled to agree. He carefully looked at Sam, heart racing a mile a minute as he tried to gauge Sam’s sudden change of demeanor.

“Sam,” Dean sighed, drawing attention back to him and the older demon. “Forget him. Charlie’s right, we need to focus here. He’s always baiting. Don’t lower yourself to his level.”

Sam’s jaw worked furiously, lines popping between his eyebrows. But a moment later, his expression shifted, and something inside him seemed to calm. Castiel wondered what had caused it.

“I’m fine,” he muttered. “Just ready to put Rowena in the ground.”

“Good,” Cain rumbled. “Let’s do just that. Stay focused on the task.”

Castiel felt Cain’s stare directed at him. He swallowed and shoved a forkful of lasagna down his throat, wishing not for the first time that it didn’t taste like molecules. He needed a distraction. Immediately.

“Well,” Dean piped up hastily with a fresh bite of lasagna still in his mouth, “what we know right now is Rowena transferred the Mark to herself and we don’t know how to remove it, transfer it, or kill her. Crowley’s found some witchcraft to possibly incapacitate Rowena indefinitely so we don’t _have_ to kill her, but the process is pretty brutal.”

“Not to mention it won’t lift whatever hex the bitch put on me,” Crowley griped.

“Yeah. Not as important,” Dean grunted back, annoyed. “Anyway, Crowley still has some loyals who tracked Rowena down in New Jersey. She seems to spend most of her time downstairs, but they said she’s been holed up for almost two days doing...whatever evil-witch-slash-queens-of-hell do. But we need to act _now_. We don’t know when our next chance at her will be.”

“Worst case scenario we kidnap her and keep her in the bunker’s dungeon!” Charlie added optimistically.

“Very true,” Dean added, giving Charlie a small thumbs-up.

“Well, I can transport Charlie and myself to New Jersey with some of the more helpful books and the four of you could meet us there,” Castiel offered.

“Good plan, Castiel. It would probably be best to let Charlie rest here tonight and take off in the morning. Let us know where you’ve landed and we will come meet you.” Cain’s certainty put Castiel as well as everyone else at ease, and soon everyone was back to enjoying the last few bites of their meals.

However, Sam frowned in protest. “Uh, sharing a car with Dean and Cain for a day’s drive? No thank you.”

“Well Sam, you can come with Cas and me!” Charlie offered, but her face fell as soon as she realized what she said.

All the colour drained from Sam’s face. He couldn’t go with just Cas and Charlie now, not when Cas was suspicious of Sam’s feelings. “Oh, well, um… that’s too much for Cas, I couldn’t--”

“Moose, why don’t you just admit you don’t like Castiel?” Crowley interrupted, to which he received three very dirty looks and one sharp kick to the knee. Sam’s blood began to boil and pound in his ears so loud that he barely heard Cas speak.

“I’ll just leave now to make it simpler,” Cas muttered and promptly left of the bunker before anyone could protest.

Sam jumped up when he finally processed what had happened and, without another thought, sprinted after the angel.

“I don’t know why Samantha didn’t ask if he could drive with me,” Crowley grumbled with a smirk on his face.

Sam sprinted out of the bunker into the crisp night, desperately looking back and forth for the angel. But there was only the whistle of the wind and the shifting shadows of the trees on the dark road.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Hope you enjoy the chapter (:

After travelling across the country for so many years with Dean and their father, Sam was well acquainted with the feelings of arriving in a new town. Driving across state lines always brought a sense of butterflies, the sense of going somewhere new with different communities and expectations.

Going into a different city or town always brought back that old feeling from when he was young and going to a new school. He could remember the jitteriness, knowing that they wouldn’t stay long but still wanting to make things work, be _normal_ for however long he could. It was always about making every moment last back then. Even now, that feeling hadn’t changed much. He didn’t go into new towns hoping to be normal for as long as possible, but he did feel that old sense of butterflies, the uncertainty of what to expect and what to look for until he could see the people and communities with his own two eyes.

Butterflies were normal. Those feelings were familiar.

But that wasn’t what Sam felt this time as he and Charlie crossed over the boundary lines to the town Rowena was hiding in.

Charlie jumped in her seat as the car rocked past the _Welcome to Trenton!_ sign. Sam had half a mind to jump too, and probably would have without his years of training to hold in his reactions.

“What the hell was _that_?” Charlie exclaimed, eyes wide and alert. Sam stared up through the windshield, gaze watchful on the sky. He could see the remnants of whatever touched them spreading out through the air. It was dark and sparkled, disappearing in seconds to the clouds on the horizon.

“Rowena, probably,” Sam replied. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and sighed.

Trapping Rowena looked like it was only going to get harder the longer they waited. They needed to move--soon.

“We should find a motel,” Charlie said suddenly, speaking Sam’s exact thoughts before he could. “You know. To be on the safe side.”

Sam nodded and passed her the map they’d brought. “See what you can find. I’ll keep an eye out for Cas.”

“Cas?” Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow. “Are you worried about him?”

Sam started to shake his head. He wanted to reassure Charlie that it was fine, Cas was fine. Cas had always proven that he could hold his own, and Sam trusted him to show up whenever he was ready. But instead of saying any of those things, his mouth replied without his permission, “I don’t like not knowing where he is.”

His eyes widened in horror, realization immediately dawning. _This had happened before_.

Charlie didn’t seem to notice. She nodded and folded open the map to look at local motels and rest stops.

“I get that,” she replied, oblivious to Sam’s worry. “I’m sure he’s alright. Did he say anything to you before he left last night?”

Sam tried to tighten his jaw, not reply, but the words were already wrenched out of him. “He left before I could explain myself.” He swallowed and squeezed his knuckled around the wheel. “Charlie, I think we’re under a truth spell.”

Charlie glanced up at him, brow drawn up in confusion. “A truth spell? I thought those only worked in one-on-one situations.”

“Not always,” Sam replied, glaring as the car rolled up to a red light. “Once Dean and I ran into a monster that had the whole town under her spell. But she wasn’t anything like Rowena, and I get the feeling this one will be much worse with the Mark of Cain on her side.”

“Do you think she’ll try to use the truth spell to turn us against each other?”

Sam wanted to say no. But of course, he said exactly what he thought. “Yes. We’ll need to warn everyone about what they’re walking in on.”

“What about Cas?” Charlie asked, nodding anyway as she pulled out her phone.

“I can pray to him,” Sam murmured. “Even if he doesn’t answer… at least he’ll know, if he doesn’t already.”

“That’s good. I’ll call Dean.”

“Thanks,” Sam sighed. He tapped his finger on the turn signal, unable to help speak exactly what was on his mind.

“Got any secrets that’ll make me turn against you?”

Charlie scoffed and raised an eyebrow. She turned to stare ahead as the car made it’s way down the road.

“I don’t think so,” she replied, solemn. “But let’s not ask each other those kinds of questions until we’re safe to answer them by ourselves.”

Sam nodded, body stiff as he took the next turn.

“Agreed.”

....

“Yeah Charlie, Cain and I are on the road now,” Dean said into his phone, exasperated. So they were a couple hours behind because Cain wanted to repay Dean for the unfortunate experience the night before, big deal. They were still only half a day’s drive behind Sam and Charlie, and still a day ahead of Crowley.

They had to be inconspicuous, so Dean had mapped out an efficient side-route for Cain to take. He had also found a hotel just outside Trenton, the last place Rowena had been spotted, for him and Cain, while Crowley would stay on the opposite side and Sam and Charlie would find somewhere in the heart of the city.

Cas was the only wild card in this situation. Where was he planning to stay? Would he even show up? Why hadn’t he called anyone, even Dean? The guy was entitled to storm off last night, but Dean didn’t want to lose this opportunity because Crowley had opened his stupid mouth and addressed the biggest damn elephant in the room.

“Dean, do I turn here?” Cain asked quietly, and Dean nodded before turning his attention to his brother, who had taken the phone from Charlie momentarily to bitch at Dean to get a move on and _you better have brought all the supplies I put on the list, Dean, because we only have one chance at this blah blah blah_ …

“Sam, would you just breathe for a second? We’re good at what we do, remember? And we’re not going in unprepared in any way, so eat some fucking beef jerky and give the phone back to Charlie.”

Charlie must have overheard Dean because her cheerful greeting was what Dean heard next.

“Hey Dean! I actually had a question about spells. Uh--truth spells,” Charlie said rapidly, more rapidly than she usually spoke, which was saying something.

Worry passed through Dean in an instant, instincts telling him something else was behind this phone call. “What’s going on, Charlie?”

“Well…” Charlie squeaked.

Dean sighed loudly and thumped his head against the headrest. Cain looked over at Dean, but he just shook his head and the old demon focused back on the road. “You and Sam both?”

“Looks like it. And,” Charlie sighed, no doubt exchanging a look with Sam, “probably this whole city. We both felt it as we crossed the border. I guess it’s good you three are planning to stay outside the city limits.”

Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, good thing. Hey, try to keep talking to a minimum, alright? You never know what’s going to come out, and I guarantee Rowena has spies everywhere. Just--stay safe, you two. And call if you get any trail on Cas, Rowena, anyone. I’ll tell Crowley.”

Charlie sounded a little worried when she replied, “sounds good!” Dean couldn’t blame her; truth spells were nasty. And who knew what other tricks Rowena had up her sleeve.

“Dean? Why are you laughing?” Charlie asked.

“Oh, nothing important. Just reminds me of a time when we dealt with a real trickster,” Dean replied, too much candy and smug smiles invading his thoughts.

“Are you talking about Gabriel? The archangel? Sam told me about him once! He said--” But Sam must have put a hand over Charlie’s mouth, because only muffled noises followed.

Dean laughed, intrigued with what choice words Sam had to say about the trickster. He was a pain in the ass, but he did save their lives, after all. Dean wondered what Gabriel would do in a situation like this. Maybe he’d know what to do, how to solve this mess. Or maybe all he’d care about was the good toy collection Dean was building.

“What, Dean?” Charlie asked and _shit,_ the truth spell must be stronger than they thought.

“Nothing, Charlie! Drive safe!” Dean exclaimed, hanging up the phone hurriedly. Turning to Cain, Dean said, “Rowena set up a truth spell. I think it’s a strong one.”

“Obviously,” Cain replied dryly, an annoyingly amused smile on his face.

....

Sam couldn’t believe he was doing this. But he only had twenty minutes, max, before Charlie returned with pizza. So if that meant he was going to kneel on the dusty floor, leaning over to place his forearms on the unwashed comforter in a dingy motel to try to contact Cas, he was going to get it over with as soon as possible.

Maybe Sam could really fix this. Maybe the truth spell was a blessing here, helping Sam speak his true feelings to the angel. But maybe this would mess everything up more. Cas was way out of his league, yet here Sam was, thinking this could end happily, thinking they could make this work. He would never forgive himself if he made Cas leave them for who knows how long, taking a hand in defeating Rowena away. All because Sam couldn’t keep his emotions under control.

He was praying before he even realized what he was doing. His want, his need, coursed through him as he said, “Hey Cas, I’m really sorry about last night. Crowley’s a dick. But, uh, I’ve had time to think, and I’m kinda under a truth spell right now, so I figured this was a good time to clear the air. Or make it worse, or,” Sam groaned, trying to keep some amount of composure, “or something.  

“Cas, I want you. I want you here, with us, with me. And not just because you’re useful. You’re… well you’re everything,” Sam pleaded, fighting the tightness that was forming in his throat. “And it’s always been you I’ve cared about most. From the first time I met you, I was in awe. You were this larger than life angel, and you saw my flaws and you didn’t care. Hell, it made you care _more._ You’ve always been there for us, for me. Whatever shit I cause, you’re there to help. Somewhere along the way my gratitude turned into something more, and I don’t know if I should fight it or if it’s the best thing in the world, but what I do know is that you’re the most selfless being in existance and I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’d do anything for you, Cas, and I can’t lose you again. And I-I think I love you.” Sam’s voice did crack then, but the words kept coming, and with each little bit of truth he spoke, he felt more and more at ease, like he was doing exactly what he needed to, so he continued.

“I always thought you and Dean had something, so I backed off. Because that’s what you do when you care about someone as much as I care about you: I wanted you to be happy, even if that meant you weren’t... with me.” Sam raised both his hands, floundering for a moment in indecision before they finally fell flat on the bed.

He dropped his head to his forearms and breathed deeply for a few minutes before he let out the last thoughts in his head that were fighting to be released into the warm air. “I’m asking you now, Cas,” he whispered, “do you have the same feelings for me? If you don’t, we never have to talk about this again. But I can’t watch from the sidelines anymore. No grey area. No guesses. Please, I need to know. You don’t have to come here now, but give me a sign. Please.”

No answer. No anything.

Well, that answered that. 

**Author's Note:**

> Us: lovefromdean.tumblr.com, cains-mane.tumblr.com


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